It was bothering me all last night, these thoughts and ideas that come to light in these words. I’ve never had a good relationship with my father, yet that is to say that I have never had a relationship at all with my father. So for anyone reading this who has also had a less than perfect relationship ( or lack thereof ) with their father, please keep in mind that these are my own experiences and thoughts, and they should not be taken as how I think or feel someone else should act in a similar situation. It’s not fair for anyone to pass judgment on another person’s childhood. What we live through as we grow determines who we are, the morals ( or again lack thereof ) we have, and how we come to be the adults we are. Last night was very restless for me. I have always been an insomniac, and last night was one of those aggravating nights when I was constantly on the verge of both sleeping and waking. Any long term insomniac can identify with this maddening frustration. The moment I would. Oh, your blouse is soooo pretty, It reminds me of a Monetpainting."I started blubbering once again."What did I say, Wendy?"The tears turned into laughter. "I will tell you about Monet, Claudette,but first I love the idea of a new set. Please?" Let's get comfy, Wendy. Why don't you take off your blouse and skirt andleave on your bra and half slip. I think that is always the nicest lookfor having your hair set in private. And we are in private, so anythingyou would like to do is no problem. I would probably enjoy ittremendously."I took off my blouse and skirt. The bra I was wearing was a verystructured bra, much like the one Janet Leigh wore in the bedroom scenein the movie Psycho. Very controlling and very sexy, even on a woman myage. Claudette's eyes grew wide and she ran her hand over the tautfabric. "Very nice, Wendy. Bon Marche?" Oui, Mademoiselle!"I took off my earrings and allowed Claudette to direct me to the washbasin where she was going to wash my hair. This was the first.
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